Q: What happens when the headless monks leave banana peels on the floor?
A: Silence will fall
Q: How many Sontarans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None! Sontarans do not fear the dark!
Q: How many Time Lords does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Interference in the lighting practices of other cultures is strictly forbidden.
Q: How many cybermen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: LIGHTBULBS ARE INELEGANT. THEY WILL BE UPGRADED.
Yo momma's so fat, the whole Slavine family could fit inside her at once
Yo momma's so fat, the cybermen upgraded her into a hot dog van
Yo momma's so fat, project indigo took her to an ice cream parlor
Yo momma's so fat, the Adipose consider her a natural resource
Yo momma's so fat, Captain Jack didn't try to flirt with her
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The tesselector: Our records office is sealed to the public. The chicken isn't guilty of anything.
River Song: Spoilers.
The Eleventh Doctor: Chickens are cool!
The Tenth Doctor: I dunno. I've learnt to stay away from hens.
The Ninth Doctor: Common poultry with migratory habits. Fantastic!
The Sixth Doctor: I haven't the slightest idea, Perry. Perry!
The Fifth Doctor: Ah. I'm not quite sure, but I'm sure someone around here could tell us!
The Fourth Doctor: Would it like a jelly baby?
Idris/Sexy: Do chickens cross roads?
The daleks: The chicken will be exterminated!
Harriet Jones, Prime Minister: Harriet Jones, Prime Minister. Has the chicken requested assistance?
The street vendors of NNY: Buy some happy for your trip across the road!
Amy Pond: I don't know. Does it matter, a chicken crossing?
Jackie Tyler: That chicken's mother is probably worried about it.
Captain Jack: Hello, chicken.
The Judoon: We have no juristiction over chickens.
Torchwood: If it's avian, it's ours.