[x]

Sounds Like MauveWhat had finally driven her over the edge, Dr. Schwartz recorded, was that she couldn't hear the grapes.
Certainly they tasted fine, at least Marian made the same happy sounds she always made when she plopped a seedless red into her mouth and squeezed it with her teeth. The anomaly occurred when they opened her visor.
"Dr. Schwartz?" It was one of the new nurses. "Dr. Schwartz, Marian's parents are here. They said you called?"
"What? Yes, yes, I did call them." Schwartz sighed, tapped a few more notes and slid the stylus back into the sheathe on the side of his tablet. "How is she?"
"Asleep. The sedatives have taken hold."
"Good. I'm going to bring Marian's parents in to see her. I would appreciate it if you could remove her restraints for a bit, just until they leave. Would that be a problem?"
"Of course not, doctor. I'll take care of it."
Schwartz shook her father's hand with a tight grip, looking the man in the eye. He set his other hand reassuringly on her mother's shoulder, saying

Doctor Who jokesKnock knock.
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
*Silence falls*

Q: What happens when the headless monks leave banana peels on the floor?
A: Silence will fall

Q: How many Sontarans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None! Sontarans do not fear the dark!

Q: How many Time Lords does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Interference in the lighting practices of other cultures is strictly forbidden.

Q: How many cybermen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: LIGHTBULBS ARE INELEGANT. THEY WILL BE UPGRADED.

Yo momma's so fat, the whole Slavine family could fit inside her at once

Yo momma's so fat, the cybermen upgraded her into a hot d

Dog AdviceI spoke to him as an airplane glided overhead: "I have always had this sort of love/hate relationship with melodramatic phrases and expression. Words and terms that were once powerful, like love and soul and eyes and ocean, have all become weak and horribly cliché as a main result of brutal abuse and overuse. There are other ways to write love poems than basic comparisons and Italian sonnets; it's quite obvious that you can stare into somebody's eyes and figure out what's going through their pretty little head. But there ARE other features of the human anatomy, can't you watch her chest tense up or his shoulder's simply slump and relax b

Today, I'm Fine. Today my teacher came into the girl's bathroom.
Today he asked if I was okay. Today, I lied.
"I'm fine."
He rapped on the walls, telling me to answer, or he was coming in. I didn't answer. He came. With my feet on the toilet seat, he found the stall.
"I don't want to dance."

Today he asked if I was okay.
"I'm fine."

He made me go out and watch. He interrogated me, making me feel bad that he wasn't having fun, wasn't dancing. He offered to be my partner.

Today he asked if I was okay; the fan made my contacts dry, my eyes water.
"I'm fine."

He thought I didn't want to dance with any of the boys, or that tenth grader that showed up;

Amy's Afternoon'What are we doing after lunch?' asked Amy.

'We have to go shopping,' said Mummy, 'and I have to go to the bank, and I might pop to the chemist's for -'

'Do I have to go?'

'Yes, darling, there's no one to look after you.  Oh Amy, don't look like that.  It won't take long.'  That was a lie.  'Then afterwards we're going to Aunt Fuzzy's for tea.'

'Oh no!' said Amy.

'Oh Amy, really!  What's wrong with Aunt Fuzzy?'

'You always talk about boring things, and she gives me funny flavours of Ribena.'

'She's got very old eyes, darling,' said Mummy.  'She finds it very difficult to read

FlyingFlying

Once upon a time there lived a king who had a very stressful life. His country was very small and the larger countries that surrounded it gave him constant threat of war. His country was also very poor, and even his own castle was a sad, dilapidated estate.

Because of all his problems, the King never had the interest or time to get married. But as the years went on, his advisors pleaded more and more with him to take a wife. They argued it would be for the good of the kingdom.

The King disagreed. To him, women were frail and nervous creatures, always crying and fainting. Any queen of this country would need nerves of steel to match

Queen Bee The moment I was hatched from my egg, my mother tried to eat me. I was fortunate because I successfully escaped from her wrath. Later, I would learn that I was never supposed to be born because my mother was the Queen, and as her child, I was meant to be a male servant. But something went wrong. I was a girl. Everyone knew that if the Queen bore a girl, they would have a battle to the death. Instead, my mother tried to eat me when I was just a larvae.

I got lucky I suppose, since one of her servants picked me up we flew off before my mother could bite my head off. His kaleidosc

The LaboratoryThere was a laboratory once. It was a long time ago, but it was there. And within this laboratory there was a score of men who worked and thought all day long. Their very dreams might have been their work, as well. But who knows? It is impossible to read an individual's mind. It is hidden behind lock and key. Or rather, the eyes and the skull hide everything.

The laboratory was a curious one, for they tested both men and trees. These doctors or scientists or madmen or whatever one calls such beings were trying to extract a secret from the trees. They wanted the trees' secret so badly, and they wanted to give the secret to men. But each man w

The August Rooster and the Eater of Pearls"Are you the spawn of Satan?" the woman asks me. She is wearing welding goggles and holding a clipboard.

"No," I say. "Hello. I'm--"

"Yes, yes, the potential apprentice. Sara, was it?"

"Samantha. It's a pleasure to meet you both."

"Lovely to meet you too, Samantha," the man says, stepping forward to shake my hand. His skin is cold, and I swear he has scales. "Are you ready go?"

"Go?"

"We're taking you with us for this afternoon's search."

"Ah. Yes. Okay then."

They both turn to leave, and I trail after them. They move quickly, and I end up having to alternate between walking and running to keep up.

"Out of interest, what exactly is i

River sings Call me MaybeYou saw the book when I fell,
Can't show you, I'll never tell
You'll keep yours secret as well,
And now I'm in your way

A calypso pulse for a wish,
Freedom and lives for a kiss
I wasn't looking for this,
But now I'm in your way

Your stare was holdin',
Bow tie, cool was showin'
Hitler's office, bombs were blowin'
Where you think you're going, baby?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But you're my husband,
And I'm their baby

It's hard to find the right
Time stream, baby
But you're my future
So see you, maybe?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But you're my husband,
And I'm their baby

And all the other Nestines

Diagnosis You were diagnosed on the fifth of June. We were at the clinic, reading month-old magazines while melodies from the elevator music station drifted from the overhead speakers. You had a frown on your face, I was lost in thought, and when they called you in I didn't even notice. That is, until, I realized the atmosphere had gotten considerably lighter in the past few minutes since you had left.

So I sat in content silence reading yard tips for the garden we didn't have until you returned. Your face was ashen, and you were quiet, but still you managed to don a superior smirk. This composure you maintained until we got in the car, but as soo

swallowing silver spoonsShe counts thirty-one days during every odd month and thirty days during every even month (apart from February, but that doesn't matter, everything else is the same). There are twenty-four hours in a day, and she thinks that doesn't matter, either, because it leaks away just like the number of days.

The days pass in a blur and she wonders what happens if she oh, just happens to glance out the window because she thinks that the world's going to end anyway. Might as well just sit here.

So this is life, broken and battered after withstanding just a few years of marriage, but then again, she never quite expected him to die early. Just one of th

Dear StrangerDear Stranger,
I hope you are reading this letter before you have gone outside. I imagine you will have a few questions on your mind when you see how things are out there. Luckily, you happen to have this conveniently placed "doggy-door" through which I have slipped the letter you now hold in your hands.
First, I would like to apologize for the state of your mailbox. By this point I imagine you have ventured outside and seen a few things worth the raising of an eyebrow or two and I assure you, all will be explained. The mailbox. I am deeply sorry for the condition it is in. You may notice that the box itself is hanging askew, the flag seems to have disappeared(I searched high and low, I promise.), and the post seems to be broken in several places though I have done my best to repair it with duct tape. It might also be worth mentioning that it has been moved several feet to the left.
You see I was driving home late last night from work (They have me working another man's shift while

She Asked HerSpelled out in cut newspaper.
'No'.

The Letter WriterHe was a letter writer.

Written letters had long become a thing of the past—after all, why would one write when one could receive instant gratification through an electronic device? All of these things made life so much easier.

In fact, Alan lived in a time where most people didn't know how to write. Everyone was proficient in reading, of course—after all, one had to read the daily screen to know the news and things that were going on. And all children learned how to type before they were five years old. But writing was not something that was used anymore, and it had become almost socially unacceptable to write anything. It wasn't

Browse More Like This

Download File
HTML, 3.0 KB more ▶

More from *FlyingGuineaPig

Let's be sparklyLet's go and be sparkly
Under the night
We can stand in the shadows
And dance in the light
We'll scale all the rooftops
To bring closer the sky
And although it's all magic,
We'll know we can't fly

Let's call something shiny
Although the series is dead
There's no need to cry
When there's others instead
We can quote all the stories
And recite all the songs
Although it's not real
It's a place to belong

Let's go out in the sunlight.
Just to look at their faces
The people we don't know
On their way to new places
Let's make a new friend
And brighten a day
On the sidewalks at noon
Is a fine place to play

Let's try to be happy

Interrogation trainingInterrogation training started at six months in, and Anna did not fail to once again rise to the top of her class.
"Thank you for arriving on time, Anna. This process can be a bit scary for some. It's not uncommon for students to try and skip."
"I need this training, Sir."
"A very informed attitude. Now, if you'd like to take these and fasten them loosely around your wrists whenever you're ready...They're quite harmless, containing a mild citizen-approved tranquilizer. These are what police use in their cuffs. Yes, that's correct. They go on just like that. Now, you can either sit or stand, and for the next five minutes I'm going to be pro

Lessons I learned in schoolTo never try something if it might look silly

That asking for help is asking for punishment

That teachers, not parents, are the true judges of a child's intelligence

That I should never pursue something if I have no natural talent

That deviation will limit and untilmately destroy my life

That emotional pain is a myth

How to successfully hide an injury

That by having a disability I thoughtlessly inconvenience everyone around me

That bullying is justified if I come to school in sweat pants

That a victim can and should be punished if they fight back in any way

That trying to change the world will only result in pain

That children need

View Gallery · View Prints

Featured in Groups:

#Writers-Guild-DA
writers everywhere

#doctorwhoclub
Doctor Who Club

#Writers--club
A group for all writers!

#DoctorWho-Gallifrey

#DrWhoTimelordSociety

#Time-Lord-Mania

#Short-Stories
Can be as short as you want! :D

#Write-4-Doctor-Who

Show all (13)

Details

Submitted: May 18, 2012
File Size: 3.0 KB

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 44
Favourites: 66 [who?]
Views: 1,075 (0 today)
Downloads: 11 (0 today)

[x]

Why I was forced to insult my teacher

by *FlyingGuineaPig, May 18, 2012, 7:12:05 AM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / General Non-Fiction / Stories & Vignettes

Our teacher comes to class straight from his law office, always in a tie and sometimes in a suit. Always very professional. Today I'm surprised to see him in a pale yellow coat and bright green tie. It assaults the eyes and makes me think of white jackets and celery.

"Nice tie, sir," I say, feeling that it needs commenting on.

He laughs and wonders aloud whether or not I'm being sarcastic.

"So!" Coat off, tie loosened, shirts sleeves rolled, laptop out. "What did everyone do on their day off yesterday? Around the room. Anna, start!"

I grin, remembering. "I received a shipment three weeks early."

"A shipment of what?"

I smile, shake my head, put my arm on the table and lean on my hand. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing."

"Ooooooh." A collective noise like I've been called to the principal's office.

"No, okay, it was a…a set of Doctor Who action figures."

I'd said embarrassing because we're college students; because I'd been running around the house with Eleven in my hand like he was going to vanish if I let go of him. Because I squealed over the detail on Four's scarf, lamented an orange tint on Five's shoes, and regretted that Nine wasn't in his green shirt. Because I stood Six on his head and told him he was an asshole for the way he treated Perry. The box had said they were great for display; for collectors, but it was becoming very clear I wasn't going to leave them behind plastic. Poor Seven already fell off the kitchen counter. They were toys, plain and simple. And I was a bit old for that.

"What's that?" Violet asks, turning around to frown at me.

"It's a British show, which is why it was supposed to take so long, 'cause they're not sold in America."

"Is it good?"

"Yeah, once you get over it being, well, British, because they don't do comedy the way we do. But it's really good-"

The teacher claps his hands, alerting me to his laugher. "Doctor Who! I had no idea anyone still watched that! What was that, the most low-budget, psychedelic show on public television?"

I sit rigidly in my seat. "They've made a new series now-"

"But it was just RIDICULOUS, wasn't it? You actually watch that? I had no idea they were still showing it!"

"Actually," I say stiffly, "I had to pirate it."

"REALLY?! You went to all that trouble?? Doctor Who! Wow, THAT was a low-budget show…"

"It was 1969!" I exclaim. "They couldn't exactly help it!"

"Well maybe, but even for the time period it seemed particularly bad. Action figures, huh? How much did you pay for them?"

I take a deep breath. "Am I to understand, Sir, that you don't like Doctor Who?"

"Well, I…like I said, it's psychedelic, low-budget, and kind of stupid."

"Mmhmm." I lean back and cross my arms. "I don't like your tie."

Why I was forced to insult my teacherby *FlyingGuineaPig

Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / General Non-Fiction / Stories & Vignettes

I stayed after class and said I was sorry I'd insulted his tie. He left with a parting shot about "That guy in the silly rainbow coat." Damn you, Six.

love 1 1

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~EmmaTollysViolin 6 days ago Hobbyist General Artist

You apologized afterwards? You shouldn't have.

Way to be above anger! Honestly, though, he deserved it.

"I don't like your tie. You should have worn a bow tie. Bow ties are cool."

~ololosha-ololoeva Mar 9, 2013

Ahh it's cool^)))
Can you let me translate it please?)

~MariposaAzure Aug 2, 2012 Student Digital Artist

Yes! Nice story. I can see why you got mad.

~pinballwitch Jun 18, 2012

Funny, great.

Thanks for sharing!

Congrats on DLD!

~KibaDemon Jun 7, 2012

THE NEW SERIES IS AWESOME! Your teacher sucks.

~madbluebox Jun 4, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Yes
Yesyesyes

*GJTProductions Jun 2, 2012

Here's an idea:
1. Buy a season/series pack from the new series (doesn't matter which one) and have it nicely giftwrapped.
2. Give to teacher as Christmas/birthday gift (or leave anonymously on doorstep if possible for extra trolling factor

)
3. ???
4. Profit! XP

And about the coat, NOBODY but the producers wanted it. Not even Colin Baker. This recolored figure [link] is pretty close to what Colin originally wanted to do with Six, but the producers forced him to wear the "silly rainbow coat" instead.

~HondaAmaya Jun 2, 2012 Student General Artist

Fan-tastic! BRILLIANT! Just. Just, I love you for doing that.

~starlingthefairy Jun 2, 2012 Student General Artist

Your teacher seems to be a bit of an ass-hat.
I'm very jealous of the extent of your action figure collection.

~frogsupper Jun 2, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

The man was a fool. You did the right thing

I am curious about what sort of stuff he watches (or is tv beneath him) - it 's easy to pick holes in shows and he was just taking cheap shots really.

Poor number six - I think they made him wear that awful coat. I heard he wanted to wear black but wasn 't allowed.

More from *FlyingGuineaPig

Featured in Groups:

Details

Statistics

Why I was forced to insult my teacher

Why I was forced to insult my teacherby *FlyingGuineaPig

The Journal Portal

Polls

What is your preferred drawing software?

deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]

Keep in Touch!

Deviousness

Add Media

Style